Broken Hearts and Opened Doors

You’ve lived in this home for over 20 years. Now you and your partner have decided to split ways. Maybe with children, maybe with the now joint-custodied pet, but definitely a situation that can be incredibly emotional and stressful, add selling a home and you’re dealing with a “more than I can handle” situation.

According to the VDH, in 2018 there were over 20,000 divorces in Virginia. We all want that happily ever after and we all want the house it came in! The last thing you want to deal with while splitting up is splitting property. Unless you are fighting for a prime piece of real estate, most couples will sell their home. In Virginia, courts are not required to split real estate 50/50 between both parties. Instead, Virginia divides assets equitably and fairly, depending on who acquired the assets and how much each spouse put in. Judges can rule depending on how each party contributed to the house’s worth or they can rule to transfer the property to the spouse who maintained and improved the property primarily. Yes, I know Mickey did all the landscaping but she bought all the appliances! Not fun. So, to sell it is!

Now comes the hard part. The one where you weep as you pack up your belongings or see an old photo album. The one where you are arguing over who actually owns the signed copy of Prince’s Purple Rain album or you’re both in the kitchen reminiscing about a wooden spoon tale involving their mom and your tail. While all of these things are taking place in your home, you will soon have to publicize it to the world with a For Sale sign. Don’t worry, this too shall pass.

When you decide to choose an agent to sell your home during this time, there are some things to consider. First and foremost, you want an agent who is going to listen to you, whether you are eye-bloated from tears or red with rage or exhausted from the drain of it all, to have a realtor go above and beyond during this time would make a world of difference. Sounds silly right? What do you care if your realtor is there to hold your hand or not? I dunno, I mean I go spill everything to my acupuncturist when I’m feeling overwhelmed, or the nearest bartender. The point being, empathy is not dismissed in real estate.

I recently had a client who had to sell her home because she was going through a sudden divorce. She had to sell it quickly with no fuss. There were good days and bad days for her and all I could do was to communicate with her frequently, give her solid and cost-effective suggestions, and be understanding with her adamant price choice. I had to watch her go through the “death” of her relationship, and as an agent I wanted her to get the best value out of her house and push where I need to, but as her empathizer I wanted to dig the thorn out and sell it as quickly as possible so she could move on.

That’s the thing about agents, we see it all. We see the collected dust on shelves, we see the family photos we ask you to remove, we feel the tension with couples trying to figure it out, and we understand having to give up what will soon be an artifact in your history together. It’s personal. It’s intimate. Our relationship. So although we are watching you close this chapter of your life, we are also trying to help you, well…close, with the potential for a whole new chapter.

My advice is, when you are going through something this life changing, make sure you choose someone who is not only going to give you the truth about what it will take to get you sold, but to also remind you that this is a transition, and you can provide a lighter touch. And yes, I will bring you pizza or a six pack to help you get through it all. You may have built memories there, but you can take this and file it away and move on to that low maintenance condo in the city or that Cape Cod you’ve always wanted. No one wants to be in this place, but sometimes we have to go through it to get to a better one.