Quarantine Chronicles: The Hardship of Self
September is the month we observe self care and self improvement. I’ve been in my house the majority of 2020. Although my businesses should be booming over the spring and summer months, it’s been at ease to say it best. I’ve had a nice even flow of clients which I am forever grateful for, but not the volume I have come to expect during this time. I’ve also had to leave my house for three funerals and my brother has been sick twice in California with suspected Covid infections. This has been a most difficult climate and an obstacle most Americans have never felt before. Most my friends have been on edge with the current events and to say our relationships have not been changed, well…that’s an understatement. I’m sure you are tired of the back and forth, the angst, the sadness, and the all around general feels of what I can only describe as a global s•itstorm. I know I am. I’m not here to reinforce that, but I am here to tell you I can empathize and that we all must remember to take care of ourselves and find strength within ourselves.
For those who cohabitate with others in their dwellings, I hear you! Truth is, we as humans should have time to ourselves without the constant pulling on apron strings and a realization that your partner may not have the healthiest of habits. Our homes are suppose to be where we feel safe and free, but I feel during the pandemic the walls have closed in on us for numerous days, weeks and months and having our partners and children all up in our business has been less than ideal. Yes, moms I know you’ve been hiding in the walk-in with a bottle of vino.
For those who are single, this is also a time of severe loneliness. We are social creatures who thrive on the connectivity of those around us. The weight of not having someone to cuddle with, to watch movies with, or to dine with can be overwhelming and one can become unmotivated by the boredom that has replaced social gatherings. Sure, you can put on a mask and brave the outside world, but some of us have lost the ability to hold a conversation and to be honest, it’s not very fun trying to get to know people when you look like you’re about to rob a bank or play Mortal Kombat.
What does this have to do with real estate? Not much unless when we examine the property you are currently inhabiting and how it is affecting your mood. I know that if you are anything like me and the Mister, idleness creates anxiety and a lack of purpose can stir feelings of depression. After a handful of Zoom happy hours, I miss the din of sitting at a bar or restaurant, I also miss the intellectual stimulus I am accustomed to encounter. I know we are almost six months into this thing and In normalcy, a lot of us have our days filled with responsibilities and tasks keeping us occupied, so it’s challenging to sit with oneself and reflect in the quiet. So here are some things I put together to maybe help you all cope and maybe ease the monotony.
Home Improvement
Just like self improvement, caring for where you live can have a remarkable affect on your mood. If you can’t sell your house, make it better so you reap the rewards of selling it later or just to refresh it.
Rearrange furniture. I personally like to do this every six months, but unfortunately my home is limited to where I put things. I will tell you it breathes new breath into your living space.
Put a fresh coat of paint on the walls, that’s right, paint it that rich blue you’ve been imagining.
Buy a new sheet set. Amazon and Wayfair have some beautiful and affordable prints that will reinvent your sleeping quarters, plus you‘ll feel nice and fresh in a newly decorated bed.
Prepare your yard for Fall and Winter. Make room for a nice firepit you can enjoy or add some lighting you’ve been thinking about to create some magic back there for those crisp eves.
Clean the outside of your house. Get those shutters and window sills dirt free. Maybe put a fresh coat of paint on your door and change up the face of your entry way by adding some Fall decor or add some string lights to the porch. It’ll help you feel less cooped up indoors.
Get your chimney cleaned. Replace your air filters. Get your oil tanks filled. Who wants to be cold this winter?
Change up your wall art. There’s so many great DIY projects for home decor on Pinterest you could do. It’ll give you something to work on for the weekends and also add some new visuals for those empty walls.
Education
I have taken an opportunity to learn during this time. I’ve watched documentaries. I’ve signed up for FREE Coursera classes. I’ve taken an online dance class and I added Duolingo to my phone so I can practice my Spanish. When you learn, you stimulate your brain and it makes you feel confident. So learn something new!
Take an online class. Whether it’s a dance you’ve been wanting to learn, a new skill, or some sort of academia you want to delve into, there are a TON of FREE resources for this. Expand your mind, you’ll feel ready for some deep conversations when this mess is over.
Ladies this is a perfect time to figure out how to change tires, check and change oil, and build something. Misters, you can use this time to learn how to do the same!
Get on TikTok. Sounds dumb, I know, I was reluctant, but it changed my mood. So many positive messages. There’s real people, you don’t know, across the world who are crying and struggling to reach out and connect and they are funny as hell. Everyone has a story and this is a great medium to learn about different cultures, and also to bond with others who really are going through the same things you are.
Learn a new language and a new country. There is seriously no time like the present to do this. Download a language app and get to it, you may want to travel somewhere amazing after this and this is good prep for you.
Color. Once again, sounds stupid as an adult, but it has been proven to calm. There are plenty of adult coloring books out there.
Communication
It’s key! Some of you are loving that you don’t have to be so connected and that’s great, but maybe we can practice other forms of communication. This will alleviate some of the loneliness you could feel.
Date. That’s right, date. This is the best time to date someone. Find a person you can get to know, slowly and through conversation and do it in the medium you choose, whether it’s through the written word or through photos (guys keep your pants on) or through voice and video. Give each other assignments like create a photo scavenger hunt with items you can see their soul through. This is a time where it doesn’t have to be an expedited array of expenditures and rushed connection. My advice, find someone you’ve been interested in and reach out. A simple hello could lead to a future “wanna quarantine together”, Love in the Time of Corona is a real thing.
Family. Now more than ever we miss our families. Make sure you gather with them remotely or just a quick call/email/text. My relationship with my brother who lives in California increased 10 times fold during the pandemic. I walk, he talks. You can also create more intimacy between you and your partner by sharing stories, maybe do your own bookclub, dance and listen to music together.
Call a friend you haven’t talked to in ages. We all get separated through life, but as you remember some good times, hit that person up and say hello. You’ll be like two teens from the 80s chatting and catching up on your lives.
Start writing. Whether you keep a journal or a blog. Write. It’s therapeutic and a great way to see your inner self.
Send a postcard. Send someone a handwritten postcard. Instead of waiting for Amazon, wouldn’t it be nice to receive some actual correspondence?
Take a Spa Day
Seems on trend I know, but set aside a day and do it. You don’t even have to get dressed, but I promise after a day of pampering yourself you’ll feel pretty good!
Get your favorite products from face masks to nail polish to beard wax to foot soaks and do it. All day. Get your robe out, fill the tub with bubbles and enjoy. Find a podcast, an audio book, or hell, get an actual book and read. It stimulates your mind and also relaxes you. I’ve learned so much from Radiolab in the tub!
Get a massage at home. There are a few home massage therapists who will come to your house safely and work on you.
Order in. Order a meal you haven’t had in a while from your favorite restaurant and put it on plates and eat at the dining room table. You’d be surprised what a difference it makes. Don’t forget the candles!
Exercise
Endorphins. Endorphins. Endorphins. The more you get them the better you’re going to feel. It’s like Elle Woods says, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't."
Take a walk in a neighborhood you’ve never been in before and explore.
Go to a park you’ve always wanted to go to.
Try biking the Capital Trail for a little while.
Take a day trip to the mountains and go on a nice hike.
Take a Day Off and Do Nice Things for Others and Yourself
When you do things for people, it feels good, rewarding. There’s lots of people out there who are not in a good place emotionally or financially, but a nice gesture would give them the world. As for you my friend, if there is anything I’ve realized during this time it’s I don’t need to work 60 hours a week to feel successful (as I write a newsletter taking me all day). We’re in a pandemic, take a load off sometime.
Take one day a week where you unplug. Stay off of social media. Don’t read or listen to the news. Start with cooking yourself a nice breakfast.
Listen to an album in its entirety and really listen to it.
Talk to a neighbor. Bring them over something, even if you don’t feel comfortable talking to them, leave it on their front stoop with a little note to say hello.
Instacart groceries or send a meal over to someone.
Offer to walk your neighbors dog
It’s the perfect time to get those Holiday cards ready (could this be the year for me?!)
Clean. Something as simple as cleaning and organizing your home for one whole day can be so satisfying.
Clean up your neighborhood. Go out and find an area and clean up the trash in it. Find a neglected community center or neighbor’s yard and mow lawn. Drop off some purged items to your local charity or church.
Spend the day getting to know your child. Interview each other, you’d be surprised how fun and rewarding it can be for your relationship. Do the same with your partner, play a game with them, I’m currently learning how to play chess with mine.
Write down those things you want to be better at and actually work on them. I have a habit of leaving shoes everywhere and drawers opened, not anymore, ok maybe sometimes. I’m working on how to be more organized, so every day, I organize one thing, today it was my filing cabinet.
Depression is no joke. If you are feeling depressed, you should always reach out to someone you can talk to, but do try and love yourself, now and always. Work on you during this time. Ask yourself questions like, “Am I happy?” “What are my dreams and how can I fulfill them?” “Is it time to get a pet?” “Do I love my job?” Start thinking about your future and how you want to emerge when it’s over. Make that vision board. Do things you enjoy doing. Dance naked in your house. I don’t know, just do you! This cocooned living isn’t going to last forever, so take advantage of it. These hard times won’t always be here. This is the time to make the changes needed to come out better and stronger. Nothing lasts forever and this won’t either.
So take care of yourself, not this month alone but in the upcoming months where we aren’t really sure where things are headed. You’re not alone. I’m right here!