So, You're Getting a Divorce...
Yeah, it’s not words we want to speak of, unless you’re super happy about going your separate ways. Covid has definitely put a magnifying glass on many marriages and the result has been revealing. Nobody likes divorce. It’s hard and it’s emotionally draining, no matter if it’s amicable or a knock down dragged out fight. One thing is for sure the last thing you want to think about in all of it is selling your home and you might not have to, but you may definitely want to.
Divorce is quite a common motivation for a listing, and because it is so common, Agents see a lot of the same things. For example, more than likely one person is chomping at the bit to sell and the other is less motivated. Why even get rid of the property? Simply put, a lot of couples want a fresh start or don’t want to be reminded of the life they built there. In the end, you’ll both have to work together to see it through. The ultimate goal is for you both to close one chapter so you can start another.
“Your dreams don’t have an expiration date.”
An Agent. Picking the right agent to sell your home during this time can be an obstacle. You might not want to use Sally Doolittle who helped you both buy the current residence. You may want to use someone totally neutral and unknown to make things fair and straightforward. You might want to use one agent to sell and another to buy. Whoever you both decide on, make sure they are clear on the climate they are walking into. That agent should also be empathetic and patient, sometimes they will need to have two separate meetings. They should be communicative and also thick skinned to deal with runaway emotions not intentionally sent in their direction. If they are a good agent, they will be intuitive, willing to listen, and help mediate.
“You cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one.”
Listing Prep. This is the hard part. Nobody wants to do it—the cleaning, the packing, the purging, the rummaging through lost memories. It’s hard, especially if you’ve been there for a significant amount of time. Allow yourself to work through the process. Make sure to give yourself some time to take a break and a breath when you need to. Chances are, one of you has already moved out, which will make things slightly easier, but if not, maybe delegate some tasks so you aren’t in each others faces if it’s awkward or hostile. Also, your agent should be able to help you schedule things like cleanings, landscaping, and repairs.
Time. The sooner the better right? Not always. In this market it wouldn’t be too difficult to get a sooner closing date. Most closings happen in 45 days but these days it can be sooner depending on your loan process. You might have a situation where you need to work on selling one property to be able to buy/move into another. There are also the pros and cons of selling before and after you’re divorced that could potentially delay the divorce itself. You’ll have to decide on what’s going to suit your situation, and also be the most cost effective, efficient, and amiable.
Children. This is also something to consider when you decide to sell your home during a divorce. Sometimes it’s less painful to sell a home to maintain normalcy for the kids, but other times it’s better to have everyone just start anew. Also, moving with kids (depending on age) can be tumultuous when deciding on school district changes and maybe needing assistance if it’s a sole move, so you can have time to go through things without any distractions.
In the End comes a New Beginning. Take it from someone who is a divorcée, it is hard no matter what and adding the loss of a home is another piece that’ll rip you apart sometimes. You may not want to buy a new home, you may want to get yourself that new single person rental in the city you’ve been dreaming about or maybe you want to test out some new neighborhoods you’ve been curious about until you feel you can commit again. Getting the biggest buyout would be an ideal way for you to get the home you’ve always wanted, shoe closets and all! You now have some options and that’s the positive part —the blank canvas.
“Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers.”
No matter what the end entails, including collecting the half proceeds from the sale of your “marital home”, you get to start over. You get to have the basement bar you’ve always wanted, or the art studio free of storage items you’ve dreamed about. You get your own space with new paint, new art, new furniture and all while blasting that record they hated you listening to for the past 15 years. Sure, all wounds take time to heal, but it doesn’t have to be all painful. The most important thing to remember is to be communicative, be willing to work together one last time, and keep the end goal in mind —a new beginning.